“My mild-manner English husband Adam lives quite a colorful existence in his dreams. Having benefited from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings, I found it only fair to share them with the world.”

Some typical excerpts from this hilarious blog (and please, please don’t miss the audio samples on the left-hand side):

January 15, 2010

“Can you hold… can you hold my starfish? It doesn’t like it when I’m getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py.”

“Hey, don’t… don’t say anything. Why don’t you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure.”

“I feel all rolley polley rolley polley. rolley pony PONY…. Splat!”

January 11, 2010

“Your mum’s at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep.”

“Yeah, keep looking. It doesn’t get any better than this.”

“Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I’m telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination.”

“You’re pretty. pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty…. [long pause] Now fuck off and be pretty somewhere else. I’m bored.”

[hand tangled in my hair, massaging my scalp] “I’m stuck. I’m stuck. Your pubes! You got to shave.”

“Butter… nut… squash. I like those words.”